A High School Memoir: The Great Debate of 1967

I have friends who do not feel at all nostalgic for their high school years. They were glad when high school was over, and they never looked back. It is hard for me to understand these friends, because I loved high school! I still keep in touch with a group of several friends from my "wonder years." The bonds we forged, dating all the way back to elementary school, are quite strong. These friends knew my siblings, and they knew my parents when they were still young and vigorous. They understand me in a way that it is very difficult for the friends I have made as an adult.

Not long ago, my Alma Mater, Penns Grove High High School, celebrated its centenary, and I was asked to reflect on my high school experience. Reflect I did! Among other things, I was asked to recall the funniest incident from my high school years.

Looking back on it, I am certain that my funniest memory is participating with Francine Marteski in a debate on compulsory arbitration at Glassboro State College. For this debate, we had only one night’s training at Tucker Webster’s house on the eve of the debate, and we really didn't even know what compulsory arbitration was. Tucker did his best to explain it to us, but our hearts weren't in it, and we couldn't have grasped it anyway in a one evening tutorial. 

Tucker handed us a speech, which he had researched and written, on index cards, and in the morning debate, Francine and I simply read the index cards, not only for our introductory remarks but for our rebuttals as well!! We might not have known anything about compulsory arbitration, but we did know enough to realize how ridiculous and uninformed we must have sounded. All the judges wrote that our arguments were “canned,” because, of course, they were. At the time it was the most humiliating and terrifying experience of my life. 

There was a second round of debates after lunch. Francine and I were determined that we would not put ourselves through that kind of humiliating torture again. There was no way!! So we found a broom closet in some far off nook or cranny of the building, and we hid out in there until the debates were over. We stared at each other or spoke in whispers for what seemed like an eternity. We did our best to repress laughter at a situation, which even then we realized was absurd. Every time we heard footsteps, we were scared to death that some janitor would open the door and catch us there! We exited the closet just in time for the award ceremony. Of course, the second round of debates went on record as forfeited for the Penns Grove Junior Varsity Debate Team. But Francine and I, due to some quick thinking and a little chutzpa, were spared any further humiliation in front of the good professors at Glassboro State College.

Neither Francine nor I have ever debated again in our lives, but it sure makes for one great story to recount to classmates when we get together for dinner. Whenever we recount it, we are all suddenly back in high school laughing so hard we almost literally fall off our chairs. People in the restaurant look at us as if we were crazy. I always feel sorry for people who don't remember what it was like to be a kid, what it was like to be totally caught up in a moment, almost a Zen-like state, when the real world melts away and all your adult problems and concerns right along with it. It’s a wonderful feeling. I hope I never lose the child within. As long as I can still get together with my good friend from Re-Hi, I know I never will.